Monday, April 19

Marriage or Career, should it be a debate?

In the February edition of the North Park Press, there was an article discussing women at North Park and their views on marriage. I wrote a response to it which appeared in the March edition. I wanted to share it with all of you, and I tried to find the article online, but i couldn't. The best i could do, short of retyping it, was to take pictures and post them here.

Although slightly difficult to read, it is much easier to post pictures than to retype the whole article. My response I will post here as well:

I was very frustrated when I read the article “Marriage or career, NP women debate”. It was frustrating because I feel, as a woman, that I shouldn’t have to deal with this kind of subjugation anymore. Why does it matter if I choose a husband or a career, and why do I even have to choose? Why is it a matter of interest as to what women look for in life after college? Why weren’t men asked what they were doing after college? I feel that if you are going to write an article about women in college, it should cover more than just that.

We live in a society where it is perfectly acceptable for women to be in the workplace, to have high-ranking jobs, to run for President. Why is it then important for us to dissect whether or not a woman is looking for a career or a husband? Shouldn’t the question be what do people want life to be after they graduate? Women don’t get engaged to themselves, men are a part of it as well, so why not ask them why they choose to get engaged before they graduate?

This article proves to me that men still see women as a lesser sex; like we are weaker and therefore it is odd when one wants to have a career instead of, or along with, getting married. This is what happened in the ‘50s and the ‘60s is what resulted from it. Women in the ‘50s were housewives, and didn’t hold careers, but after the freedom they had during the war, they realized exactly what men did to them, and they revolted. The Women’s Rights Movement in the ‘60s and ‘70s is what came of that revolt.

Women deserve the same rights and respect that is given men when it comes to choosing a career or choosing a family. I, for one, am excited to be a wife and eventually a stay at home Mom, but I don’t like feeling like I am being judged for not wanting a career. I also don’t want to be seen as just falling into my role as a ‘woman’ to be a stay at home Mom and be the housewife.
I don’t think that we should have separate spheres in society like they had in the early 1900’s and before. The world we live in is bigger than that was. Women have gone through a lot in the history of the world, and we have struggled to be seen as equal to men in so many ways. Are you going to undo all of that by relegating college to be a past time until women can find a suitable husband and get married? I don’t think that is right.

I don’t think that at a time like this, in this day and age, with so many women being CEO’s and leading successful careers and having successful families that an article like this should be printed. The fact that it was written by a man compounds my frustrations. Men have, historically, relegated women to the kitchen. The phrase “barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen” certainly didn’t come from a woman!

In the future, I think that an article that deals with this kind of a topic should look at men and women, it should poll more than a few people, and it should make clear that this isn’t the only way things can be or should be done.

I would love to hear your comments on whether you agree with my opinion or with Brian Wallin's. It is an interesting debate that I am sure will continue for many more years before any sort of agreement can be reached about women and their roles in society and in families.

One thing I will say that I have learned through discussing this issue as well as different passages in the Bible that deal with women's conduct in society and in the church is that God has a specific plan for us and that gender distinctions do not always go against that plan, in fact, they reinforce it. It is good for a woman to be a woman and for a man to be a man, anything contrary to that is contrary to God's law.

You may agree, you may not, but that is what I have come to believe is true over the course of this year.

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